The Most Embarrassing Pregnancy Problems (that nobody likes to talk about)
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Let me guess, you’re expecting a child and experiencing quite a few embarrassing pregnancy problems that nobody told you about? It’s normal! We’ve all been there before and there are ways to deal with it without the world knowing. This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All messy opinions are mine alone. #SeventhGenerationFemCare #CollectiveBias
I always pictured pregnancy to be this glamorous, fabulous thing. I’d rock a cute baby bump and wear the most adorable maternity clothes ever made. I expected a little morning sickness and maybe swollen ankles, but I could deal with that. What I didn’t imagine is all the embarrassing little things about pregnancy that required me to pick up a ridiculous amount of Seventh Generation™ feminine care products.
Yes, feminine care products while pregnant. If you’ve been pregnant before then you know exactly what I’m talking about and if not, then here’s all the embarrassing pregnancy things that nobody talks about. You’re welcome.
My Embarrassing Pregnancy Problems
“Get pregnant,” they said. “It will be fun,” they said. Yeah, it’s great. I’m growing a child inside of me. I’m basically a miracle worker. I get away with things that I normally wouldn’t get away with because I have a big ole baby bump. But, what they didn’t tell me about was the messy, yucky, unladylike things that I would experience the entire time. Yes, thanks mommy friends for conveniently leaving this stuff out. I’m so grateful – not. They didn’t talk about it so either it was intentional or they forgot. Well, I’m 6 months pregnant and wondering why nobody talks about this stuff. So, I’m here to talk about it in hopes that this is normal and I’m not some freak of nature.
Free & Clear Pantiliners (50 Count) come in handy. Just stick one right in those pretty little panties and the world will never know. I’m sure you thought being pregnant meant that you can throw all those feminine products in the cabinet for a year. Well, your body and baby has other plans for you. Disgusting plans for you. And, instead of bringing up the messy subject to friends or your mother, you can head to a Target near you for these feminine products. I prefer this brand among others because there’s no fragrance, natural or artificial! Basically, your vagina wont smell like powder or any of those other weird fragrances that people think we need to feel fresh. WINNING.
I don’t know about you, but I find it pretty embarrassing to be normal one second, enraged the next, and bawling at a commercial right after. Those raging hormones aren’t a joke! If my husband looks at me the wrong way, he gets the full wrath of this mama. But no worries, I’ll be crying immediately after from the guilt. Maybe you’ve heard of crazy hormones while pregnant, but I don’t think people talk about them enough. You will likely wonder who the heck you’ve become. Don’t worry, I’ve heard you become your normal self after baby comes…maybe.
Why didn’t anyone tell me that I’d be breaking out like a teenager while pregnant? I wake up every week to a few new visitors on my face. The last thing I want to do while I’m out of breath with swollen ankles, is wear makeup to cover these zits. Thanks, hormones.
Want to practice giving brith out of your bum? That’s basically what you’ll be doing as the baby crowds your bowels and screws up your digestive tract. I hope you’ve already taken some birthing classes because you’ll need to keep breathing on the toilet. Don’t strain too hard, though, you don’t want hemorrhoids – another pregnancy problem.
Low Sex Drive
All I’ve heard about since I got pregnant is this incredibly high sex drive that women have and how great the sex is. Well, the bus skipped this station because I feel too huge, too tired, and too uncomfortable to even think about making out with my husband. Maybe this high sex drive comes later? Maybe I’m just a prude. Whatever it is, it sucks. Just ask my husband. I’m sure he has some complains.
Thank you to my friends who told me that pregnancy is the most beautiful thing in the world. Peeing myself when I laugh, sneeze, or cough isn’t pretty. Changing my panties because that joke was a little too funny isn’t cute. There aren’t enough panties in the world to save you from bladder leakage while pregnant, ladies. Every bathroom break is urgent and you need to be prepared for all those moments in between.
When I’m leaving he house, I have Free & Clear fragrance-free Ultra-Thin Pads with Wings (18 Count) in my emergency bag and since they have a nice comfort fit are leak-free, I wear one (even in my pretty panties). The PureFit™ design conforms to my body so I don’t feel like I’m walking around with a diaper on. It’s just the right amount of protection I need for those embarrassing moments!
Can someone please tell me how the heck they reach “down there” to shave or trim? I find myself in the most awkward position trying to maintain my well-groomed status. The same goes for shaving my legs. This belly is too big for me to reach down to my ankles. I’ve made it work up to this point but it’s required some gymnastics and contortions that my body isn’t used to.
Seventh Generation™ feminine care products. It’s a step in the right direction and the next step is to deliver this baby and get back to a menstrual cycle that allows me to use the brand new Seventh Generation Comfort Applicator Tampons (18 Count). Am I weird to wish for a period again? Probably, but I’m curious about tampons that are Certified Organic Cotton and hypoallergenic. I bet my lady bits would be thankful!
Visit the feminine care aisle in a Target near you or Target.com to pick up these Seventh Generation™ feminine care products and be sure to check Cartwheel for special deals and offers.