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5 Self-Destructive Phrases That I Say To Myself Daily #Wellness

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5 Self-Destructive Phrases That I Say To Myself Daily & what I should be telling myself instead #motivation #women #loveyourself

As women, we tend to judge ourselves harshly. I think that we judge ourselves more than anyone else ever will. We allow others to be who they are; we accept their flaws and embrace them. Yet, we constantly reject ourselves. I realized a few days ago that my mind is my own worst enemy. I tell myself things that I would never say to anyone else. I say things to myself that are really demeaning. It’s like I am mentally abusing myself and breaking my own spirit. Ever since I’ve recognized that I do this, I realized how much I do it. Then, I thought that there must be other women that do the same thing. I want to share these self-destructive phrases with you in hopes that together, we can recognize these and overcome them. 

“I look like sh*t today”

It’s a rare occasion when I look in the mirror and think, “Wow! You look great today!” I look in the mirror and see my flaws. Calling them flaws is so ludicrous because who’s to say that I am flawed? I am me. I am not imperfect. I am an individual. I cannot be compared to anyone else in the world. My intricate details are what makes me who I am. The fine lines under my eyes are from my years of laughing. My grey hairs are from years of living and years of pain. I should be celebrating my individuality. Yet, just like most women, I’ve let society, the media, and other’s opinions affect how I see myself. It’s like I’ve let them talk me into thinking that I am not beautiful. 10 people could tell me that I am beautiful and I would only remember the 1 who said that I am ugly. My mind is completely warped from years of saying these self-destructing things to myself. 

I should be saying, “I am beautiful because I am not afraid to be me. I look great every day because my heart is filled with more love than this world can handle. I am beautiful because I am a woman.” 

“What’s wrong with me?”

This is one of the most self-destructive things that I ask myself. I compare my life to the lives of my friends. They are getting married, having babies, growing in their careers and I am sitting here writing a blogpost. I wonder why my life is moving so much slower than everyone else’s. I don’t know if I ever want to get married. Even as I typed that, I wondered why I think like that. I wonder why I am not like other women. Why don’t I have the motivation to cook and clean every day? Why do I feel like I don’t have a domesticated bone in my body? I beat myself up for missed opportunities, saying the wrong things, and making mistakes. I just want to be okay with who I am and not wonder what’s wrong with me. 

I should be telling myself how wonderful I am. I should be picking out my strengths and putting them to good use. I should be okay with my weaknesses and not embarrassed by them. I should be saying, “This is who I am and I love it!” 

“I am easy to forget.”

I think about this all of the time. I think about the people who left my life without looking back. I think about the people who ignore my calls, texts, and messages. I think about the people who say they miss me, but only when I say it first. I think about the friends that I used to be close to, that I don’t talk to at all anymore. It sucks to think that you are thinking of someone and that you never cross their mind. 

I should be thinking that it’s their loss. I should be thinking that it is their decision not to talk to me. It’s their decision and I cannot do anything about it. I should not try to understand how someone feels or try to read their minds. I should be thinking about the people that do love me and make time for me. 

“Am I making this person happy?”

I am a total people pleaser. I didn’t used to be this person. I used to say what I thought and expressed what I felt without second-guessing myself. I think I’ve lost myself somewhere in this self-destruction. I am so worried about people liking me or making a good impression that I am hiding the most admirable things about my personality. I’ve become so insecure with the woman that I am that I let other’s words and opinions control my own personal thoughts. I literally make myself sick worrying about whether or not I’ve offended someone. 

I should be thinking about how happy I am making myself. I should be focusing on me. I should be so busy doing the things that I love that I don’t notice others judging me. I should be so proud of who I am that it makes others happy. If it doesn’t make them happy then I shouldn’t care. I am too busy worry about other’s opinions and feelings that I have completely neglected my own. 

“I’m weak” 

Every time I make a mistake. Every time I back down from an argument. Every time I get anxious… I tell myself that I am weak. I am weak because I am afraid of change. I am weak because I lack motivation. I am weak because I am emotional. I am weak because I sensitive. I am weak because I have anxiety. I am weak because I allow others to do things for me. I am weak because I am dependent. I am weak because I bite my tongue. I tell myself these things so much that I’ve become weak. 

I should be telling myself that I am strong. I am a freaking warrior. I am a goddess. I am a damn woman with an opinion and a voice that has a whole lot to say. I am a shoulder to cry on. I am a friend to rely on. I am a motivator and an organizer. I am not weak. I am strong because I bite my tongue, because I allow others to do things for me, because I am not afraid to show my emotional and sensitive side. I am not weak. I am not a product of my environment. I am not what society wants me to be. 


I am still on my soul-searching, mind-bending, journey to happiness. I’ve only been at it a week and I already feel myself changing. I have recognize my self destruction, which is a step in the right direction. If I ever think these negative things about myself, I say something positive instead. I repeat the “I should be saying” mantra in my head until the negative thought disappears. I can feel my soul being cleansed every time I do this. I am finally putting back the pieces that I’ve left shattered for so long. I hope you do the same. 

What self-destructive phrases do you find yourself thinking?


DISCLOSURE: The opinions expressed here are that of Women and Their Pretties only. While the products in this post were given complimentary (with an exception for Amazon roundups) for promotional purposes, that does not alter my opinion of the product(s) mentioned. This post may contain sponsored links and affiliate links (which will be stated at the beginning of the post). Read Full Disclosure Here


  1. Dangit Joyce you are making me cry with this one. I think the most self-destructive thing I say myself is that “Maybe love (romantic love) is not meant for me.” I don’t say or think this all of the time. I say and think it often enough. I need to stop that. Now I need a tissue.

    1. I say that too! “Maybe I am meant to be alone” but really I don’t think anyone is meant to be alone. I think that everyone deserves someone. It just takes a long time for some of us to realize what we deserve. Thank you for reading!

  2. Oh Joyce … this is an amazing post. I hope that you know you are not easily forgettable, your career is rocketing (even in the short time since you’ve written this post), and I get quite envious of you and your sucess, beauty and strength! You are a person that I admire, seek advice from and an ear that I will know will listen. You are one of the most kind people I know.

    I struggle horribly with self-destructive phases. I’ve even tried the whole pep-talk in the mirror with myself and felt silly for doing it. I need to try to remind myself of my good qualities and the good things I have in my life. Again … amazing post.

    1. Aww <3 You made me cry. Thank you for reading and for being so kind. Sometimes we get in our own way! & don't feel silly with the pep talk. It's for you and only you, so there's nothing to feel silly about! The only way that we can love others is to love ourselves... as difficult as it may be. I definitely can see how far I've come since this post. I've been on a journey of self discovery and my entire life as changed. You'd be amazed at how looking at yourself differently can change EVERYTHING! & of course, I'm here for you if you need to talk!

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