Addiction

Guest Post: Jamie’s Battle With Addiction – Pretties Addiction Series Vol. 3

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As a part of the Pretties Addiction Series, I am asking that those who have struggled with addiction themselves, write their story. The first contributor to this series is my paternal cousin Jamie Duboise. Both of her parents were addicts and sadly, Jamie went down the same path as them. I admire her strength and bravery to be honest and open for this series. Our goal with this series is to touch one soul. She hopes that her words will reach at least one person. If we can change one person, then that’s a wonderful first step. Take a moment to read Jamie’s story and let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.  Thank you – Joyce (Owner of Women and Their Pretties)

Pretties Addiction Series Vol. 3 #TCOAA

“I think my story is pretty much the same as that of other children of addicts. I don’t remember a lot about my childhood. I’m not sure if that’s because I blocked it out or if it’s a deeper reason. My mom left for good when I was only six years old. At that time, my sister and I went to live with my dad full time. He was very strict. Some would say too strict, but we never wanted for anything and life was pretty much good. It’s odd because I never saw my dad drink a beer or smoke a cigarette when I was a kid. As I got older, I started to notice”funny” smell.  Based on my dad’s actions, we kinda caught on to what was going on.

We weren’t allowed to go to any of our friends houses or talk to boys, at all. We were forced to eat cigarettes quite often when we were caught smoking. He would hide in the bushes in camouflage while we were at the bus stop to see what we were up to. Oh and he wasn’t against punching us in the face when we messed up. He was raising two teenage girls on his own and this was the best way he knew how.

On many occasions our school had family services waiting when we got home from school. At 15 I ran away and was placed in Foster care. I got pregnant at 16 and made it a point graduate, so I could start my adult life with my baby boy.

I alwayst thought of drug addicts as the worst,  although I did dabble socially on occasion. I was a good mother. I had another baby at 19 and held the same job for 10 years! I was proud of my accomplishments. Then I found Xanex…

At 23 years old, my mother came back into my life. At the same time I was going through a rough break up and Xanex was the way I coped with everything that was happening. There was a time when I couldn’t get any Xanax and I was introduced to these tiny, “harmless”, capsules. Better known as heroin.

My life was ruined from this point on. I lost my son first, which took away my reason for living. I voluntarily let my daughters paternal grandmother keep her. After that I lived on the streets with my dealer. We lived in a hotel for a year. I prostituted myself for my drugs. I did things that I would have never imagined myself doing. I did every single thing that my mother did. I became exactly who I always said that I wouldn’t be. It makes you hate yourself more and do more to punish yourself. I hurt my children and my family… and I still don’t really know why.”

Written By: Jamie Duboise

Read More Posts from the Pretties Addiction Series Here

#TCOAA Pretties Addiction Series (1)

Thank you for reading another volume in the Pretties TCOAA (The Child of An Addict) Addiction Series. I decided to begin this series when I realized how many people were curious about me being the child of an addict. This was just life for me growing up. I never realized, until I became an adult, that I didn’t grow up like everyone else. Yes, I had friends with parents that were amazing. I knew that my childhood was different, I just didn’t realize that it was interesting or a learning experience for other people… Read the Full Back Story here

Want to share your story? You can sign up here!

DISCLOSURE: The opinions expressed here are that of Women and Their Pretties only. While the products in this post were given complimentary (unless otherwise stated) for promotional purposes, that does not alter my opinion of the product(s) mentioned. This post may contain sponsored links and affiliate links (which will be stated at the beginning of the post). Read Full Disclosure Here

57 Comments

  1. Wow. I have no words. I didn’t know the power that addiction can have over generations. Reading this made me tear up, just the thought of losing a child because of our own mistakes must be horrible. I am glad, though, that at least Jamie recognizes her mistakes she made and acceptsnthat she had a problem. Hipe eveything is going well for her and her family.

    1. Thank you so much for reading. Addiction is more widespread and serious than people think. I’ve dealt with addicts my entire life, so I didn’t know that so many people didnn’t know about it.

  2. I am a big believer in the idea that our children not only listen to us but watch us, very closely. It is so hard to make sure we not only tell them not to do certain things but show them that we don’t do them either. What an amazing series. I applaud all of you for stepping out and writing about this.

  3. Oh my goodness, you’ve been through so much and you’re so brave to put it all out there for others to learn from. I hope that life is treating you much better now and you were able to rehabilitate. Life is very hard at times and we all do what we need to in order to survive.

    1. Thanks so much.. I am going to write a follow up to this but I am clean now I just had a baby in December and one of my other two children live with me now.I feel great being clean…life is still hard as it is for everyone but I’m working everyday to fix the many many things I screwed up during my addiction

  4. I know that this is a terrible addiction to go through from a family perspective. You are so brave for sharing and I look forward to reading more in the series!

  5. Thank you for doing this series, Joyce. I am a recovering addict as well so I know the struggles the addict goes through even when you know you are hurting those around you. I commend anyone who even so much as takes that first step to get clean and survive, because I know it’s one of the hardest things to do in life.

    1. Thank you so much for reading, Amanda! Congrats on being a recovering addict. It’s definitely difficult to overcome and just as difficult to be vulnerable enough to share your story.

  6. I used to have a hard time understanding why children of addicts would repeat their parent’s mistakes when they knew firsthand the pain those choices caused. But how often do I talk like my parents, act like my parents, parent like my parents- it is so easy to just do what you know, what you saw growing up. I understand much better and stories like yours help. I hope for better things in store for everyone sharing these stories.

    1. You’re totally right, Valerie. Since my parents are addicts, I used to not understand it. I made the choice to learn from their mistakes, but it happens so often. It’s so sad and it’s a serious disease and a life sentence.

  7. Wow, it takes a lot for someone who has two addicted parents to put themselves in a position to see what is wrong. Sometimes we just allow ourselves to think its ok. You are very strong for stepping out of your comfort zone and realizing the road you were going down. Your story is inspiring and will definitley touch others!

    1. I think that a lot of people think it’s cool and they try it because they are just having “fun” and then before they know it, they are addicted and too deep in it to realize that they’ve lost everything.

  8. Addiction is a scary thing. I used to be a teen counselor and I dealt with a lot of addiction then. It can really ruin your life. You have to want to come clean in order to really do it. Otherwise, you are just going through the motions and you will wind up back where you started.

  9. Thanks for sharing! It is very courageous of you to admit this. And to share your story with the public. How did you stop the drugs? Did you ever get your children back? Please continue with your story! 🙂

    1. I stopped because I found someone who made me feel worth more than what I was.I’m not sure if I needed love or self worth or both but those feelings helped me to crawl my way out

  10. I can’t help but cry as I read this. Thank you for helping spread awareness of things that the “average” person doesn’t know anything about. It’s so important.

  11. That is powerful. Addiction crossing generations is scary stuff. It is so true that children really do follow in their parents’ footsteps. How brave to share her story.

    1. It happens very often. Not always, but it happens and it’s a real problem. I think the problem in most families is that it is ignored and hidden rather than really discussed.

  12. This sounds like an awesome series indeed and I would love to get the whole series for my niece who is right now in prison do to her addictions. Addiction is a disease that many people deal with and there is help out there. You have to be willing to except you have a problem in order to fix it.

    1. Rebecca, please direct her to my site, so she can follow along in the series. It’s still a work in progress, but I’d love to offer it up as an e-book at the end. You’re right that you have to want to help yourself to actually GET help.

  13. What a powerful series. I know someone pretty close to me who struggles with addiction so this hits pretty close to home. The strength Jamie has is incredible. Hugs kudos to her. I see in the comments shes clean and just had a baby – that is amazing and admirable. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thanks so much for reading Jeanine! I’m sorry to hear that you have experienced a loved one with addiction. It’s so difficult to deal with or for people that haven’t been through it to understand.

  14. This is very brave of Jamie to share her story with us. And she truly is a strong woman! I’m glad that she managed to turn herself around. Addiction is really a serious thing

  15. You sound like you had it rough. Too bad nobody in the social services sector thought to get you some professional help. I have seen and heard this story many times. There is a gene within the human body that will cause a person to be more susceptible to addiction–unfortunately you have it. Just make sure your kids or your guardians to watch carefully so that it does not happen to them.

    1. THAT is a huge flaw in our system, Michele. They want to throw you in jail, but never try to get you REAL help. It costs SO much for rehab facilities that there’s no way an addict can do it on their own.

  16. You are brave to tell your story. I am sure there people out there who are where you have been. I do believe that when they see that someone in their shoes made it out on the other side they will believe they can as well.

  17. Wow I think it is fantastic that you are doing this series! So many people are struggling and need inspiration from others but addiction stories aren’t talked about nearly as much as they should be! This is great!

  18. What a powerful story. It’s really unfortunate that parents can’t provide kids with a safe loving environment that sets them up for a healthy and productive adult life. All too often, these children see this as normal and end up repeating the behaviors themselves.

    1. Yes, this is true, but it isn’t always the case. My parents were addicts and I decided not to repeat their behaviors. It’s really unfortunate and it’s one of life’s most confusing lessons.

  19. One can only imagine the level of braveness it took to talk about this.ni really hope that you’re in a happier place and doing fine. I guess all of this happened so you can live to tell and know better for the future. Keep being strong girl

  20. Addiction not only affects the addict, but everyone around them. It takes away the person you knew and replaces them with a shell of their former selves.

  21. Oh my goodness, so much of this sounds so familiar. My husbands side of the family has had trouble with addictions (alcohol) through at least 4 generations. It’s amazing how much it can strain a family and the reasons for it are so varied and complicated. Thanks for sharing this!

  22. Thank you so much for sharing your story Jamie. It takes a lot of courage to share something so personal. I hope you were able to become clean or are now getting the help you need to go in that direction.

  23. At one point I thought my sister was going to have a problem with Xanax because she always acted like she needed it. Thankfully she weaned herself off of it but still a scary experience!

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