Addiction

Guest Post: Mugshot Mom Part 1 – Pretties Addiction Series Vol. 7 #TCOAA

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As a part of the Pretties Addiction Series, I am asking other children of addiction to share their stories. Another contributor to this series is my cousin, Robin. Her mother and father are addicts, just like mine.  This is part 1 of her “Mugshot Mom” story. I hope that you take the time to read through and ask any questions that you may have. As you’ll notice, she mentions Jamie, who wrote her story a couple of weeks ago. Thank you for reading – Joyce (Owner of Women and Their Pretties)
 
Pretties Addiction Series Vol. 6 #TCOAA (1)
 
“I remember being very little, maybe 6 or 7 yrs old. I remember being alone with my sister Jamie, we were 2 yrs. apart. Its not real clear to me if we were left alone at times or my mom was just sleeping all the time. I remember not having any food in our home. I remember Jamie and I being very hungry. I remember making us crazy, weird things in the microwave, since I wasn’t old enough to use the stove just so we could have something to eat, throwing things together like an episode of “Chopped” but in the 80’s.
 
My mom up till that point had been a stay at home mom, my dad worked long hours everyday. Then one day my mom went and got a job at an Olive Garden. I believe there she just started hanging around with the wrong crowd. In the 80’s cocaine was all the rage and she jumped right on that band wagon, this was it, where her addiction first began. There were nights after work when my mom would come home in the early morning hours and times where my dad would be waiting for her in the morning just so he could go to work.
 
I barely have any memories of my life before my mom’s addiction started. I have no happy memories as a child of my mom that I can recollect, not one. There were lots of babysitters. Men, women, strangers, we were always with someone other than our mom. To be honest at the time I didn’t really care, because when she was there she wasn’t really there at all. Jamie on the other had did care. My mom would leave to go do whatever it was she did. My sister would scream and cry, actually chase after the car, begging and pleading to our mom not to leave her. There Jamie would be left standing there all alone, hysterically sobbing until she could no longer see the vehicle. Even at that young of an age my sister already was developing insecurities, expressing them in ways like sucking her thumb and wetting the bed. These were all due to abandonment at the hands of our own mother.
 
I know at some point early in her addiction that my mom did have a brief stay in rehab. I think we may have went to stay with our Great Grandparents. Honestly sometimes things are so foggy at times I wonder if this stuff ever happened at all, maybe just wishful thinking, that maybe just maybe I had created all this chaos in my own mind. After my mom went to rehab, my parents got us back from my grandparents. Mom and Dad’s relationship was pretty much over at this point. My mom had already been having an affair, although it be with someone in prison, just corresponding through letters and occasional visits it was still an affair. That I knew about, a secret I had to keep from my daddy. She actually while still with my father had the audacity to get that man’s name tattooed on her butt. 
 
When my parents finally did split, we went to live with our mom in the city with some of her friends. My mom didn’t change me schools, so it was up to her to transport me to and from my school everyday. Some days my mom wasn’t even there when I woke up, or was tired from being up all nigh and didn’t feel like taking me. I missed a lot of school. Finally we went to live with our dad, I don’t recall whether our mom called and told him she just couldn’t do it anymore or my dad just stepped in and did the right thing and take care of his daughters.
 
Under the circumstances with my mom’s now fully active addiction, I don’t know if there was ever a normal custody agreement and we were to go with our mom every other weekend or what. I do know that when we did go to be with our mom, she would still go do whatever she wanted and still we were left with whoever she could find to watch us. Even that being said, when my dad would pick us up on Sundays, I remember always being so sad. Deep down I didn’t want to leave my mom, especially if she didn’t spend anytime with us that weekend. I would always cry on our long ride back to my Dad’s. My dad would always ask, what was wrong? I would make up lame excuses like my stomach hurts, I have a headache, or I just didn’t feel good. I don’t know why I would lie to my dad, I never remember my dad saying one bad thing about our mom to us or in our presence. I guess I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings because he worked so hard to take care of us, asking nothing from our mother. Even giving her money when we went with her to visit in hopes of the money going to care for us while on our visit. Maybe I just didn’t want to be embarrassed to express my longing for a mom, someone so selfish, that obviously did not long for me as I did for her. Then of course with most children of addicts in a divorce/separation situation, there comes the empty promises, so many I couldn’t even count. The weekends and holidays come and go, no visits, no phone calls. Long periods of time not seeing my mom’s face, a comforting touch, even just her voice.”
 
Come back in 2 weeks to read part 2
 
Written By: Robin Duboise
 
 

Read More Posts from the Pretties Addiction Series Here

#TCOAA Pretties Addiction Series (1)

Thank you for reading another volume in the Pretties TCOAA (The Child of An Addict) Addiction Series. I decided to begin this series when I realized how many people were curious about me being the child of an addict. This was just life for me growing up. I never realized, until I became an adult, that I didn’t grow up like everyone else. Yes, I had friends with parents that were amazing. I knew that my childhood was different, I just didn’t realize that it was interesting or a learning experience for other people… Read the Full Back Story here

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DISCLOSURE: The opinions expressed here are that of Women and Their Pretties only. While the products in this post were given complimentary (unless otherwise stated) for promotional purposes, that does not alter my opinion of the product(s) mentioned. This post may contain sponsored links and affiliate links (which will be stated at the beginning of the post). Read Full Disclosure Here

5 Comments

  1. My heart aches, every time I read an entry in this series. Things like this are why I want to finish my law degree, and advocate for those that are neglected and abused. The amount of heartache that you experienced at such a young age, is just horrible. A mother is supposed to protect you from the dangers of the world, not BE the dangers of the world! I am so sorry that you had to experience all of that, and I will be back to read part 2.

  2. very touching, i can see how painful it would have been for robin, as a kid.. I feel sorry that all these things happened to her, and wish this never happens to any kid ever, waiting to read the part2..

  3. So touching. I wonder how you have managed to come out of all this into the person you are today. It is sad that in the 80’s cocaine was all the rage – this just ruined several families. I will come back to read the part 2.

  4. Thank you all for reading my story. I appreciate all the love and compassion. It was a hard long,painfull process getting this all out in words, I am so glad to of had this opportunity though;)

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