Addiction

Guest Post: I’m Amanda & My MOTHER is an Addict #TCOAA – Pretties Addiction Series Vol. 5

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As a part of the Pretties Addiction Series, I am asking other children of addiction to share their stories. The second contributor to this series is my childhood friend, Amanda. Her mother is an addict, like mine. Her and I grew up together and at that stage in our lives didn’t even know what addiction was, but both of our parents were addicts. Fast forward years later and we both struggle with our mom’s addictions every day. There are times when she’s the only one I talk to about this stuff because it’s hard to find someone that really understands. I hope that her post touches someone out there that is also dealing with an addiction in their family. If you need to talk or you have questions, please feel free to ask them! Her and I are open to any questions you may have. Thank you – Joyce (Owner of Women and Their Pretties)

Pretties Addiction Series Vol. 5 #TCOAA

“Hi, my name is Amanda and my MOTHER is a drug addict.”

“My mother is a drug addict.

There was a time, many years ago, that my mom was just my mom. Now, I miss her so much. I miss my happy, smiling, goofy, loving, mother. She was all I ever had. My father was sent to prison for eighteen years when she was pregnant with me. She had me when she was only sixteen. So we kind of grew up, together. You never expect the people you care about so much to become drug addicts. You always say, never me. I know I did. My mom didn’t even smoke cigarettes when I was little. So how is it that she’s become this sad, miserable, lonely, and hateful person? What happened to her? What changed her?

Right now, we aren’t speaking. She has put so much worry and stress on my family, that I can’t even handle it right now. I have a little sister and a younger brother. We are all adults now. And we’ve all made it pretty good so far in life. We all graduated from high school. I’m married, I have two beautiful babies, and work a normal job. My sister is two years younger than me. She is engaged and is a manager of a well known grocery store in South Florida. My brother is four years younger than me. He is married to his high school sweetheart and is planning to start a family of his own next year. Our mother is divorced, going on fourty-two, never finished high school, hasn’t worked very much, is living off  of disability, and renting a room with her boyfriend in a house full of drug addicts.

She has been doing drugs, hard now, for about three years. But she’s been abusing prescription pain pills for many, many years. The first memory I have of her falling apart was when I was in middle school. She tried killing herself by taking a whole bottle of aspirin. It almost worked.  She was sent to the hospital and then a pychiatric facility for a few days. I was so confused.  And no one talked to me about it. Our house was becoming more and more hostile. There was always fighting. We were moving all the time. We switched schools too many times to count. And I just never felt secure anymore. After she broke up with her then boyfriend, things just got worse. We were introduced to multiple men who claimed to be our “new dads”. She told us we were staying in one house, but we would move within a day’s notice. So all stability was thrown out the window from that point on. And it effected all of us, in unhealthy ways. My mom started this crazy party stage in her life and it still hasn’t stopped. For some reason, us kids, weren’t enough for her. We couldn’t make her happy. So she turned into another person. She began drinking all the time, which she never did when I was little. She started smoking cigarettes and marijuana. She even supplied us kids with alcohol to keep us happy while she did what she wanted to do. And when I say “us kids”, I really mean kids. I was only about eleven years old when she was buying me wine coolers every weekend. Not the best role model.

Soon after, she began taking pain pills, without any cause of pain to control. Other than what she felt inside. I still don’t know to this day why everything changed. I wish that I did. Understanding drug addiction is important for people who want to help. But she won’t let us help her. She gets angry when we suggest drug rehabilitation programs. She was just in a hospital for shooting up dirty and kidney failure, a month ago. Her doctor told her and my siblings that she WILL die, if she doesn’t stop NOW. So, I’m waiting for that phone call every day.

She’s living in a house with multiple drug addicts. Including the boyfriend that introduced her to needles. She won’t leave him. Their entire relationship has been about getting high these past three years. They don’t love each other. They love doing drugs together. My mom cares so much more about doing drugs than anyone or anything. She is at the lowest of the low right now. She just recently tried heroin, after telling me that she was trying to clean herself up. So at this point, we don’t see a time that she stops using. She’s too far in.  She would rather get high than see her kids. She would rather shoot up pain pills than see her grandchildren. Her entire world is drugs. She loves drugs more than she loves us.

We’ve all tried everything to get her to stop. But drugs continue to win her over.  Again and again. HOW did this happen? HOW can something make you put your own flesh and blood, second? What is it about drugs that completely changes someone? You would think, there isn’t ANYTHING in this world that could take a mother from her children. Ever. But there IS…”

Written By: Amanda Broach

Read More Posts from the Pretties Addiction Series Here

#TCOAA Pretties Addiction Series (1)

Thank you for reading another volume in the Pretties TCOAA (The Child of An Addict) Addiction Series. I decided to begin this series when I realized how many people were curious about me being the child of an addict. This was just life for me growing up. I never realized, until I became an adult, that I didn’t grow up like everyone else. Yes, I had friends with parents that were amazing. I knew that my childhood was different, I just didn’t realize that it was interesting or a learning experience for other people… Read the Full Back Story here

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DISCLOSURE: The opinions expressed here are that of Women and Their Pretties only. While the products in this post were given complimentary (unless otherwise stated) for promotional purposes, that does not alter my opinion of the product(s) mentioned. This post may contain sponsored links and affiliate links (which will be stated at the beginning of the post). Read Full Disclosure Here

12 Comments

  1. Very brave to share your story. I’ve been around addicts all my life,they will only get help when they are ready. They just Dont understand the pain and torture it puts their loved ones through. I pray your mom gets better,before its too late.

  2. Amanda – I can so relate. It is my father who is an addict. I too do not speak with him at this time. Every time I let him back “in” he would hurt my family in one emotional way or another. Its not fair. One thing I keep going back to is that even TODAY it is hard to get good mental health care. I know because my daughter has depression AND anxiety! She has a strong mother who has done everything for her to get her GOOD help (me of course) but good help is hard to come by. Maybe that is why our parents failed so badly? I am sure it was even harder back then to get any good help BUT they also have to WANT the help right!? I know my father didn’t was and still is in denial. We all have that final nail – for me it was when he stole my diabetic needles to shoot with, in my home, where he was living with me and my TWO babies in diapers! With his younger than me girlfriend he brought along with him to crash in my tiny studio apartment! Both living off of me a single mom with two babies. It sucks because we both will one day have to face their deaths and I am the only child of his – I have no idea what I will do when asked to deal with his funeral! Uggg
    Thanks for sharing Amanda, stay strong and focused on YOUR family!

    1. Thanks for you sharing your experience with me. I’m sorry you are going through the same things. It IS very stressful, especially for a mom trying to do her best, to keep letting this person hurt you over and over. We can’t choose our parents. I hope your father can get some help and you can make amends before he does pass someday.

  3. I am not the child of an addict but my children are. I am not the addict. My husband, their daddy is an addict. I cry myself to sleep at night wondering how his addictions will haunt them. How will it scar their soul to know that their daddy lives drugs more than his own flesh and blood.
    We lost everything because his addictions. On the one hand I am so sad that my children have been homeless and hungry. On the other, I hope that they see what addiction does to people. We were so happy before his drugs. We loves each other and our children and we were just stupidly happy.
    After 4 1/2 years of him missing birthdays and Christmases and sports and dance recitals, two trips to detox and stints in rehab, I am hopeful he is on the right track and stays clean. I pray every day, and I’m not the praying kind, that I loved my kids enough to make up for his failures. I pray again that they don’t follow in his footsteps and that they remember how far he, how far we all, fell because of his drug use.
    I’m so glad that you and your siblings seem to have it together and it gives me hope for my kids.

    1. I’m sorry you are going through this, I cant imagine that. I’m sure your kids will be fine because they have YOU. All they need is someone there every day to tell them they are the world to you and for you to mean it. And show it. It sounds like you love them very much! So I bet they have never questioned that. Their father will be what makes them stronger. And you will be their foundation. Don’t worry yourself, you are doing the right thing for your children. And they will love you even more for protecting them.

  4. The hardest part about being a relative of an addict is knowing they will not admit it. Or when they do they say they can take care of themselves. Thank you for posting this.

  5. I am sorry what you are going through with your mom. Only she can change and no body else can change her. If she decides to change only then will you be able to really have her completely. As the mom, she was before. Everyone has a story in their life some good and others bad. I’ve had my father in prison since 1992 and present. He’s in prison for other cases. My sister and I don’t speak to him. We was abused by him as kids. My mom is still with him after all these years. I just rather live my life with my husband and kids. Family is what you create and been there through good and bad. All I can say only be with someone who cares and wants to be in your life and forget the ones that don’t care and leave them alone. I wish you the best Joyce.

  6. I am so sorry for what you are and have gone through with your mom. It is so brave of you to share your story and I know it will help many others in similar positions!

  7. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It takes incredible bravery to let the world in on a dirty little secret, but the best thing for YOUR well being, is to let your anger out. Let your anger, betrayal, sadness, and confusion, flow freely. No one ever wants to think that a loved one is too far gone to help, but at what point do you say enough is enough? It is never an easy decision, but sadly sometimes it is the only way you can do things, so that you can move on. Telling your story here, is a huge step. My heart is heavy for you, but you sound like you are doing amazing things in your life. I wish you and your family all the best in the world.

  8. Wow, that is so incredibly sad and touching. Drug addiction is such a sad thing especially when there are children and family involved. I hope this series might be a wake up call for someone who is “dabbling” and needs to get help.

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